Doctor to Deacon:
Chris Lawton’s Journey

As a medical student, Chris Lawton noticed a similarity between what he was studying and practicing in palliative care and spiritual care.

As the end of life approaches, thoughts turn to life and death, finding meaning, and existential questions beyond the answers of science. Chris wasn’t just caring for dying patients, he was ministering to them and their loved ones by guiding them through these profound reflections.

“There was a clear connection between the human side of medicine and some of the things that were very energizing about being involved in parish ministry.”

During his time in medical school at Columbia University, he had become involved with various ministries at St. Paul the Apostle, the Mother church of the Paulist Fathers. He first got introduced to the religious community when he moved to New York City and a good friend from college suggested they go to Mass there. 

They attended the Good Friday service and Chris remembers being moved by the liturgy, the church, and the clearly diverse community.

He started dropping by on Sunday nights before the start of his busy week. It was a sanctuary to retreat from the demands of his studies to find peace and stillness. It wasn’t long before the pastor, Fr. Gil Martinez, introduced himself and invited Chris to serve.

“I started to really like that work. I found it very exciting and relevant. I was really impressed that he and other members of the community of priests were interested in knowing us, getting out in the neighborhood, and getting to know people. And then they were real. They were kind and funny. It was very easy to see the connection between the life of our faith and everyday life outside the walls of the church.”

He had found a place to put his own energy and gifts. Sundays, in a way he had never quite experienced before, left him feeling energized and nourished.

His move to Milwaukee in 2016, for work was also an opportunity to clear his head and consider his next step. 

Fr. Martinez had planted a seed three years earlier. “I think you should be a Paulist,” he had told Chris one day as they were leaving a neighborhood event. Even though there was some lighthearted deflection on Chris’s part, “he was speaking to something that I probably knew was there, but he was putting words to it in a way that I wouldn’t have been able to. And that was so meaningful.”

In Milwaukee, he was happy with his job. He was settled. “But I also couldn’t stop thinking about the Paulists and what they were doing. Specifically, how they were reaching out to people, many of whom would not have been a part of another church community. I couldn’t stop thinking about their mission to reach out to the margins of the Church and society and make sure people feel welcome.”

Yet, to enter the Paulist seminary he would have to give up the daily practice of medicine, a routine that had been years in the making. Up until that point, except for a brief period in television production, he had pretty much followed a prescribed plan. Entering the seminary didn’t exactly fit.

Chris had also thought that in deciding to enter the seminary, you were deciding to become a priest. “But I didn’t realize that going to seminary is a step along the way to deciding to be a priest. That decision is made over years in conjunction with the seminary leadership, formation team, and spiritual directors.” And he adds, “ultimately, it’s in prayer, being in ongoing relationship with God, where you learn whether this is where you’re called to share your gifts.”

Deciding to enter was simply the first, small yes. Chris had all the information he needed. There was nothing else to do except give it a try.

So, in the summer of 2018, he went to Washington, D.C., to start the program. He completed his novitiate year, two years of theology studies, a pastoral year in Chicago, and now he is back in D.C. in his third year of studies. 

Chris, 38, says he derives his greatest joy in connecting with people who might not feel like they have a place in the Church, and journeying with them to the moment when they realize, ‘maybe there is a place for me here.’ For Chris, those experiences with people are glimpses of the boundless love of God.

Chris is willing to engage in those deep conversations whether in hospice or in a church. As a doctor he helped guide people from life to death. When he becomes a priest, from death to eternal life.

“Paulists are not afraid of getting involved in the messiness of life and the unanswerable questions of life and also trying to accompany people there, offer a sense of hopefulness, and even find ways to enter into deeper relationship with God. Being in that space of welcome and accompaniment with people is the most joyful thing for me.”